Thursday, July 03, 2008

Thank goodness for the library. Still no working computer at home, which makes me feel so disconnected from things. I'd like to think that this extra time is being spent wisely - ie doing laundry, cooking wonderful meals, etc - but the truth is that any free time is spent playing with the kids and resting. That can't be a bad thing, can it?

30 weeks tomorrow and the panic is starting to kick in. It's amazing how you have so much time, and then suddenly, overnight it seems, there is not enough time to get it "all" done. You would think that by now I would know that getting it all done means mainly having diapers and a car seat, but for some reason the list for number four is including mulching, planting flowers, and weeding everything I can. I think the nesting panic comes from knowing that once this baby comes, baby is all that I'll be doing for quite some time. If it's not done in the next few months, it's going to have to wait, and for me, nothing is more frustrating than seeing work that needs to be done, and not having the time nor energy to do it.

Our other news is that unless something drastically changes, hubby will be deployed for 400 days starting this winter. New baby and no hubby is adding a new meaning of stress and sadness to life. Trying not to worry, but when the kids start to talk about Daddy going to Iraq and dying, it doesn't put that extra, peppy kick in your step. I've been through this enough to know to things can change, but we've never had plans this concrete before. So we are making plans, and I'm learning how to do fun things, like the taxes, paying bills, etc. Not sure how I'll be both mom and dad, and I'm mostly concerned about my older boys, who love and really enjoy time with their Daddy. Their pitiful "I don't want him to gooooo" really tugs at my heart. The hard part is that I'm just as sad as they are, but I have to set the tone on a positive note. "Awww come on. We'll have fun and it'll go by fast" has become my standard response. What a lie, huh?

So we're making plans for plenty of family time, and treasuring each day that we have together, something we should be doing anyways, regardless of his deployment status.

Hoping to be back online soon and hoping that all is well with you!


Rach said...

Ahhh, my heart goes out to your family! Hugs to you all! I can't imagine having to go through that time without your husband, even though, I know you will persevere. I will be here ANYTIME you want to chat! Take care of yourself, love Rach

Cabell and Penny said...

30 weeks already! Time did fly. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you get through the stresses of life! Take Care.

geminirn said...

WOW!!!!Already at 30 weeks.....time is flying by,can't wait to see the precious new additions little heart goes out to you all in the up coming months though.

ccw said...

30 weeks already? It certainly went fast, for me anyway.

So sorry to hear about the deployment. I can only imagine how difficult this will be your family.