Balance or Lack There Of

Lack of balance.

Do you ever feel it?

I feel like I eat, sleep, and breath this crazy life 24/7.



I do, do, do, fall asleep, and start over again when the alarm beeps at 6:21.



Then I hit snooze for 9 more minutes.

I'm starting to strongly dislike the mother that I'm becoming, someone with little patience and motivation.

My son told me the other day, through tears, that I never encourage him.

Ok. That's not true, but still. The fact that it was even said bums me out.



My patience and motivation for doing homework with him, while trying to do dinner, keep the baby from throwing more things in the toilet, etc., is beginning to wear out.

We've eaten more fast food in the past week than we have this entire deployment.

I have no motivation to cook for kids who could care less about what appears on their plates. In fact, they would rather have McD's than anything else I could make at home.

I have to confess. I was that way as a kid. McD's was the highlight of my day, week, month, you name it. Anything to get that Happy Meal.



My son refused a doughnut this morning. Does that give you any idea about how we have been living?

Anyways, back to the point.

I'm tired of living a life where I'm waiting for the balance to return.



Only two more months but right now that seems like eternity.

I'm trying. I really am.

But the wind is quickly leaving my tired sails.



I'm ready to come ashore and be done with this trip.



It's been far too long . . . .