Saturday, October 10, 2009

OK.

This has not been the best few days for me.

Sort of downer posts and this one is going to be the same.

I don't want pity or a head patting.

It's that I know there is someone out there who can relate, and that is what I love about blogging.

You are never alone is this busy world.

I'm going through a jealous phase.

I browse blogs and find myself getting jealous.

Jealous of their nice clothes when I'm starting at things that are beyond their years.

Someone told me the other day that I needed to have more variety in my wardrobe.

I need more dollars and time for that, my friend.

I look at what they cook, and I wish I had that energy and motivation.

I wish I had someone here who would appreciate it.

People have hobbies and passions that they share, post, and thrive on.

Right now my only hobby seems to be doing laundry and breaking up arguments.

People enjoy spending as much time as they can with their kids, and most days I'm counting the minutes until bedtime.

I used to read to my kids before bed, and now I do a book-on-tape and call it a night.

They post photos of their husbands doing fun things with their kids.

Nope to that one as well.


It's been a rough few weeks, and I know that's a large part of why I feel this way.


The kids have been sick so the few things I have been doing - Bible Study, church, etc. - I've had to miss.


I've been missing things for almost a year while hubby has been deployed, and I'm tired of it.


I know some are going to read this and think that I sound ungrateful.


You may look at my life and wish you had so many of the things that I've listed and am currently finding fault with.


Please forgive me.


My pity party will end soon.


I promise.


I'm just tired.


And out of balance in so many ways.


Can anyone relate?

1 comment:

Joy said...

I'm sorry you are feeling the way you are, Amy. I wish I could do something. I can relate - not to everything - but to some of what you said. It is hard place where you are - and I think more people are in that place but just don't want to admit it or maybe don't even realize it. And being a Christian makes it even more difficult because it's hard to admit feeling down or discouraged or inadequate because there should be some "quick spiritual fix" to what you are feeling - but there's no quick fix. A verse that I heard this week that had been a huge blessing to me is Isaiah 40:11 "He tends his flock like a shepherd... and gently leads those that are with young." I have heard that verse many times, but the part about gently leading those that are with young really stood out to me. I hope that will be an encouragement to you - even if you don't feel like it, He is leading you - He sees where you are. Thank you for being transparent - I will keep praying for you.