Tuesday, May 08, 2007

It Only Gets Harder . . .

When my oldest was a baby, I looked forward to him growing up, thinking the newborn stage was so hard and that the years ahead would be peace and bliss. I would get more sleep, he would not be nursing every two hours, and all would be well.

What a joke.

We got "the note" from his teacher yesterday. "I will call you this afternoon" was listed under his weekly progress report. Every week a behavior and academic checklist comes home, making it easier to track their progress.

David is not progressing. He actually seems to be regressing.

He is not finishing his work. What he does finish is a mess and missing all the important "things" - capitals, punctuation, etc.

His impulsivity is creeping back. "David kicked a boy on the way to lunch because he did not like him". David's reasoning? "Well, he said something mean to me . . . "

I chaperoned a field trip last week, and all the kids buddied around with each other. David tried to join in, and it was painful to watch. The kids looked at him, took in his thoughts, and then moved on their merry way together, without my son.

ADHD is so much more than an academic issue. These children tend to be 30% behind in their social development, and that can make life out of the classroom just as hard, if not harder.

I would trade sleep at night for a play date invitation. I would change endless diapers if my son could make a friend that he enjoyed, and more importantly, enjoyed him back.

Worry is starting to creep in. Who will his teacher be next year? Does she have patience for children like David?

My sweet, sweet, little boy who still pulls his long, gangly legs into a tight ball so he can crawl into my lap. Who will sigh, put his arms around my neck, and exclaim with such passion "You are the best Mommy in the world and I love you so much".

When will this get easier?


ccw said...

In my experience with Kid L, the social issues have been the most difficult to deal with as a parent b/c there is virtually nothing you can do to help. What I noticed was that as Kid L got older the invitations became fewer and the more trouble she had maintaining the friends from her early years. They matured and she didn't. The good news is that it finally settled. I would still consider her immature for her age (I love this now) but she has a good core group of friends. Sure, they all have ADHD or behavioral issues of their own leaving me slightly crushed after a visit but they like Kid L just the way she is and that is priceless.

I know how hard this is for you but David will end up with friends that are truly his friends. It will happen more and more as the kids are further divided each year.

The realization that ADHD could be forever was so hard for me to swallow. It is such an up and down ride. I don't know if things get any easier but staying on top of things with the teachers and being the type of parent who will not back down until you get what you want and David needs will help with school. I truly hate all of the complaining and threatening I had to do with the school to get Kid L's 504 plan started but if it helps her and gives me (state and federal) leverage with the teachers then it will have been worth my time.

Rach said...

I wish I had answers for you. What a tough road for such a young child.

Val said...

I'm so sorry you are facing this side of ADHD. I hope you are able to find the teacher he needs. Hugs...

Trisha said...

That most be so hard for you to watch and hard for your son to have to go through.