Monday, April 24, 2006

"So you got one of those throw aways too?"
I was having a phone conversation the other day, and it came up that we had adopted from China. The caller responded with the quote above. For once in my life I was truly speechless. For those of you who know me, this rarely happens!
Dave and I are not too sensitive about comments regarding our adoption. Most people do not realize how innappropriate their comments can be. But this was over the top. So in case this gentleman is reading our blog, I'd like to clarify a few things.
Our daughter was not thrown away. Her mother made the decision to give her life! Her mother did not abort after an ultrasound showed that she was having a girl. She did not smother her after she was born and heard the words "it's a girl". She had the desire to give her life, and this would be accomplished through adoption.
She waited a week or two and I'm sure agonized over what to do. She fed her, cared for her, and I hope, loved her. And then, after making a decision that I'm sure she thinks about even today, she took her to a public place where she knew she would be found. A public place risks getting caught and being placed in jail. Despite these risks, she loved her enough to risk it all.
So, no, these girls are not thrown away by their families. Should they be brought to an agency and handed over gently to a social worker? That would be nice. We may have precious information to share with Anna about her birth parents. But for now, these Chinese mothers are loving their daughters to the best of their limited ability. And for that, our family is truly grateful.


Rach said...

You said that wonderfully!

Val said...

Very good response. I've just read that abortion there is free to those who want one. Our girls were given the most precious gift by their mothers: life. This was not the "easy way out" by any stretch.

Babe Caroline said...

I'm still young, but have thought for years that if I were to have a child I would prefer to adopt a girl from China (partially for medical reasons). It's unfortunate to think that not only do societies like China's mysogynistic culture exist, but that people like the man who commented do too!
BTW, she is adorable!

Amy said...

Thanks for your support! I knew I would hear from some Mommies!:)

Amy said...

Caroline - I can't say enough about adoption! Feel free to contact me any time with questions!

Eugenius Wheeler said...

Amy - it's so nice to see you and your family doing well. I can't think of a better way to keep family and friends informed with what's going on. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers. Stay Blessed. Gene